


Broken Timelines [Crossover]

by Fried_lemons, josephina_x, Mizuuma



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bill Cipher is a Jerk, Dissociation, Heavy Angst, Human Bill Cipher, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insanity, Its better than yours, Magic, PTSD, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Shenanigans, Stimming, The Mindscape (Gravity Falls), Timeline What Timeline, Triangle Bill Cipher, and shit like that, and theyre like, anime lullabies, autistic characters, crippling maple syrup addiction, dapper villians, lots of idiots, my milkshakes bring all the ciphers to the yard, potentially triggering material, song magic, will is a bean and bill is a bastard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28351125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fried_lemons/pseuds/Fried_lemons, https://archiveofourown.org/users/josephina_x/pseuds/josephina_x, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizuuma/pseuds/Mizuuma
Summary: This is inNO WAYintended to be an accurate or educational depiction of DID or the like---Crossover fic between One Way, Dimension 46’\-A, and possibly the extended universe of MizBill's timeline meddlingNon-canonfor One Way (diverges after chapter 18/The Demon With a Plan)Canonfor Illusion IS Reality Dimension 46'\-A, taking place in a later timeline, after the pregnancy Arc, and the BlueBill Returns arc.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	1. Meeting... Will?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [One Way (To Absolve His Crime)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27903829) by [Fried_lemons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fried_lemons/pseuds/Fried_lemons). 
  * Inspired by [Illusion IS Reality](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13291395) by [Mizuuma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mizuuma/pseuds/Mizuuma). 
  * Inspired by [Don't Know Where, Don't Know When...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12573628) by [josephina_x](https://archiveofourown.org/users/josephina_x/pseuds/josephina_x). 



> "I have seen through many alternative realities. In all there will be a Bill Cipher in some shape or form. His existence is as inevitable as my own. Though what role he plays differs each time."  
> \- AXOLOTL (Illusion IS Reality)

Bill cautiously ventured out through the Void once more. She was growing curious again. Sure, she had Sebastian and Blue, but she was a greedy little thing and wanted more. Heck, she was so needy that she might as well have her own ‘I want’ song by this point.

”I need to write my own I Want song.” she muttered as she peeked around past the edge of one of the barrier Doors, no sign of any danger so far. She heaved a sigh of relief. Well, time to check out some more sets. She remembered being curious about the Flatland section of Doors.

As she floated through the seemingly infinite Doors, skimming the nameplates, she paused at one. **[One Way (To Absolve His Crime)]**

”Huh. So this is an afterward-type of place? I mean, Blue’s and Seb’s are both set after ‘canon’ so maybe it’s more common than I thought?” she wondered aloud before floating closer. Well, she _was_ wondering about how other Bills handled their lives after the end of ‘canon’ so maaaaybe...

Tentatively, she pushed the Door open and was sucked inside.

\---

The room was dark. Like it fucking always was. And Bill hated it. Like he fucking always did.

To be honest, he just wanted to sleep. He knew he would be vulnerable, that he would resurface later, disoriented (probably when Ford came in to get him) and that all of that would be really, really bad. But he was tired.

He wasn’t supposed to be tired. He was supposed to be a being of pure energy with no weakness.

‘Cept he wasn’t anymore and his body hurt, and all he wanted to do was lie down and close his eyes. He would still be awake and alert in his controlled mindscape...

He had to sleep. He had to risk it. Fleshbags never functioned well when they were exhausted.

So Bill lay down carefully, turning his back to the door. There was a bit of conflicting interest there-- he Did Not want to turn his back on the source of danger, except that it was the most sturdy part of him.

Bill was too tired to argue with himself about it for long. He closed his eyes and his body collapsed immediately into sleep. He felt himself drift into the Dreamscape, debating if he should go bother Pine Tree again or not, but his thoughts were put to a halt when a Door suddenly appeared beside him. Bill stared at it in disbelief before it swung open, the motion startling him back.

Something came out of the Door, but before Bill could get a good look at it (something yellow?) it was yanked up and away, out of sight.

\---

Up above and outside the Mystery Shack, MizBill rubbed her front plane and whimpered. “Why is there ALWAYS a frickin’ unicorn barrier?! Every time! I swear! Uuuugh!” she complained before peering down at said barrier and analyzing it’s wavelength. Eh, pretty basic. Different from the one around the shack back in Seb’s place, but similar enough she could just do… this.

And MizBill vibrated her energy self until it matched the barrier’s wavelength, sinking down into it without issue, since, as far as the barrier could tell, she was just another part of it. “Well, now that _that’s_ out of the way. Where is the local Bill?” MizBill looked around.

MizBill floated around, she remembered her brother BlueBill having his own room in the attic. But… she paused. No. She didn’t feel any demonic/magic/weirdness energy… That was… odd. She frowned. Her Door led here, so there MUST be a Bill Cipher here. And even if he was in a humanoid form, he should have had _some_ Weirdness… right? She sighed. Looked like she was going to have to search manually. The little yellow triangle peered left and right. Well. First off, it appeared to be night time. So he was probably asleep. As were the local Pines.

She floated to where the bedrooms were, checking each one and finding that things were _very_ different in this ‘set’. Soos was in Stanley’s room, his old room, his room? Well, Soos did inherit the Mystery Shack, yes? So she supposed he could have whichever room he wanted at this point. She giggled at the little fez on his nightstand. So proud of Question Mark finding his dream job. She also stopped to admire his collection of anime posters. Ooh~ the limited edition holographic Partial Alloy Chemist wall scroll! She was SO jealous! She wondered if she could make a copy of it to bring home, it wouldn’t be the same as getting the actual, real one though. Ahhh Soos kept beating her in the otaku department, even in another dimension! She made a note to challenge him to another round of ExtrEme Dancing once she got back to Seb’s set.

Moving on, she found the local Ford in his own room, she took a moment to admire his handsome face. Aaaah~ why were they all so cute? She did hope this one wasn’t a twat like Lee’s twin was. Or even her brother’s Sixer. Seriously, from what she could tell, her own darling Fordsie was the best Ford of the bunch. So sweet, and caring and that wonderful thing he did with his hands~ she giggled to herself before flicking her fingers and pulling the blankets up around this Ford a little more, as they had slipped down while he slept. She went up to the attic but it was just storage, no sign of another room made up there for the local Bill. So he wasn’t up there. Huh. How many other rooms were there?

She couldn’t find Stanley here in the Shack. For a moment, she worried that maybe he wasn’t around anymore, but when she opened her Eye to look, she found him in an apartment. Huh. He actually moved out of the Shack? Weird. She frowned as she found everyone except the local Bill, who was supposed to be somewhere here, since her Door led here. Was there any place she hadn’t checked yet?

Well, there was the basement…

She paused in thought. It was cold down there, what was Bill doing there? She floated down, phasing through the walls with a bit of effort, damn metal, and stared at the huge fuck off hole in the wall… floor? Area. Wow, did someone shoot a disintegration ray here or something? She paused when she finally sensed a Lifeform nearby. Oh. So Bill _was_ here. Just… wow, were ALL his powers gone or something? Like, he was _human_? MizBill shuddered. That sounded awful. Who’d want to be _human_ without any magic powers?! Ugh. Like, without magic, he probably had to do things like defecate or produce other gross human fluids!

She shuddered a little before pressing on, following the ‘feeling’ of life signals until she found a locked door. Ok, yeah, immediate alarm bells right here. She narrowed her eye. Oh, they couldn’t have...

She squeezed through the gaps in the door and felt herself freeze in place at the sight before her.

Thin, shivering, curled up in a corner at the farthest end of the room.

And then her vision went red.

She hissed, almost flying back up to where the Pines were sleeping to--

\--to what? She wasn’t sure, but it probably wouldn’t be anything _good_.

...it was only her therapy and what little self control she had that stopped her from doing it.

No, she needed context first before she did anything. And more importantly, she had to see how bad off this Bill was. So she floated closer, flicked her fingers to create a large, fluffy blanket, along with a mattress, and psychically lifted Bill onto it. She tucked him in carefully, resisting the urge to pet his hair, she hadn’t asked for permission yet, and sighed in relief when some of the shivering died down.

Ok, immediate issue dealt with, now… to go and meet him face to face. Er… eye to eye? Yeah, that sounded better. So Miz entered his Dream.

\---

At least when he was asleep, he got to have his body back, for a little while. He could use his powers, even if it was just in his head. But there wasn’t really much to do.

He wasn’t used to having a physical body, but he could sort of project a bit. Maybe he could find a way to watch his physical body, so he would have warning if Sixer came.

Yes, that was a good plan. He just had to figure out how...

...why was there _another him?_

Miz blinked. Well, still a triangle in his head, good to know. She waved cheerfully. “Hiiiiii! I’m Bill! But you can call me Miz because I’m pretty sure you’re Bill too!”

There was another Bill. Here. In _his_ Dreamscape.

He’d never bothered to see if there were other hims before. He was the only Bill Cipher that mattered.

This one appeared to be a manic fucking idiot. Who had broken into _his Dreamscape. _He still had his power here, in his head. So he called up some fire to burn her out of him.__

 _ _”__ Whoa!” Miz waved her hands. “Sorry for popping in without asking first, but in my defense, you were asleep.”

She was familiar enough with the mindscape to know that the flames couldn’t hurt her if she decided they shouldn’t, so he stopped. He increased his size until he was triple Miz’s, and allowed himself to burn bright red. “What are you doing here?”

”Well first off, I was just curious, but when I saw your abysmal living situation, I figured I should drop in and chat. See how you’re doing, see if you’re ok, do you need help, you know, that sort of thing…” Miz trailed off. “You’re not being bound here, are you? I know my brother’s got that Anchor on his back, not that he’ll tell me what it actually does--”

“There’s nothing I have that you can take, so don’t bother.” There was no way she was as trivial and bubbly as she appeared on the surface if she was coming at him like this, implying a deal or a trade-off. She wasn’t going to trick him into debt.

”I ain’t taking shit from you! I want to help you, you--” she paused. She took a step back. “Alright, I can see you’re really upset right now, so how about this, I’m gonna leave and see you again in the morning, after you’ve had a chance to calm down.” She sighed.

“I’m not gonna sleep all day so you can come back and harass me at your leisure.”

”....I don’t have to be in your dreams to talk to you.” Miz rolled her eye. And then her form shifted and instead of a yellow triangle, Bill was looking at a little girl with a brick patterned dress. Miz grinned. “See you tomorrow bro-bro.” and then she was gone.

What the-- _what_ had she just called him?

He had a couple thousand issues with Miz. She’d come all the way out here to try and force another Cipher into debt for some unknown reason, and she was gonna fuck up his entire morning and his plans.

And why the hell had she used a humanoid form in the mindscape? Who wanted to look like that when they could avoid it?

Although, if she was gonna come by in the morning, that meant she had power in the physical realm somehow. She could get him out.

 _If_ he could find something worth it to give up that she couldn’t get from anyone else.

Which was obviously impossible, in this form, unless he was going to sell his consciousness or something dumb like that.

He left his mindscape and found himself back in his strange, stretched out fleshbag body. It still hurt, and he was still tired, like something heavy and sticky had been poured all over him. It was overly warm, too, and there was some sort of pressure on--

Bill snapped fully awake. This was NOT the basement. He was-- sitting on something and there was a cloth on him and--

Well, it was still in the basement actually. But it couldn’t be his basement. Had Miz taken him from there?

Gods be damned, she was gonna want something really good in exchange for this.

Bill moved himself away from the things that had appeared in his room (and/or the room he had appeared in, whichever one). The less of her help he accepted, the better.

\---

In the Mindscape, invisible to everyone, Miz huffed. Why did no one ever believe her when she just wanted to help them? Ugh, this Bill reminded her of Blue. Well, that probably meant she was going to have to go about this from another angle. Heh. Angle. She went back to watching this Bill. Hm… she floated out to the rest of the basement, turning to face the locked door that Bill was trapped behind. She hummed and flicked her fingers again to make a small post note on the door. _[Please be nice to him, even if you don’t like him, making a guy sleep on the ground without a blanket in a cold basement is evil]_ she thought about it before signing the note with _[Miz Cipher]_ before she nodded to herself. That should do it.


	2. Hello! I'm Miz Cipher!

Ford woke up, pulled on a sweater, and went upstairs to make some coffee before turning back down to head to his lab. He really needed to get a coffeemaker down there-- then again, if any of his experiments were to get into it...

He shook his head and sipped his coffee. He needed to be awake and alert if he was going to deal with Bill Cipher. Which he wanted to put off, but he’d rather just get it over with.

He set his mug down on his lab table and went to unlock Bill’s room.

There was a small yellow post-it note stuck to the door. He frowned. No one had been down here except for him and Bill. He kept the whole Shack protected with runes and spells. Who the hell could have gotten in? (Had one of the kids put this here?)

Ford pulled it off the door and read it. There was a name signed in simple cursive at the bottom.

**[Miz Cipher]**

_Cipher._

He stared at it. This couldn't be happening.

But there were other Mabels out there, other Stans and other Fords… of course there would be other Bills.

At least this one didn’t seem particularly angry. He (she?) had just left a note. It was a pretty polite note, actually. (Miz had tried her best to make it polite. Because she wasn’t quite sure how _this_ particular Ford would react to stuff, didn’t want to agitate him more than he would already be.)

About the welfare of the creature who had nearly killed his family and destroyed his dimension. (Look, extenuating circumstances, and it’s not like you all died! Miz, floating invisibly in the Mindscape, huffed at how loud this Ford was thinking. Worse than Blue’s Sixer, really.)

He resisted the urge to crumple the paper in his fist. The other Cipher had gotten in somehow, and it could be watching him.

It couldn’t have been a prank. The kids would never joke about this.

Maybe Stan. Maybe. But he wasn’t the type to get up early.

Ford glanced around. He’d rubbed out and burned and erased every triangle from his home. He’d gotten them all, he was sure of it. Almost. (Yes, he had gotten rid of so many triangles that Miz had to take the trouble of searching manually for things! She was quite annoyed by this.)

Ford steeled himself. He’d had dealt with Cipher once. He could do it again, as many times as he needed. He would keep his family safe.

Then again, it really hadn’t gone so well the last time. He hadn’t been able to do it on his own.

Maybe he could make a Deal. A safe one. To keep this Cipher away. Maybe he could give them his Bill. (Yes. Miz nodded. That would be best. Give the baby to me!)

“Hello?” he asked, quietly. He felt a little silly, but squashed the thought. “Is someone watching me?”

Miz hummed herself all up and down the scales before going low down, back into the physical world, her form buzzing as the air seemed to vibrate and Ford found himself staring at a… little girl? She looked asian (which was incredibly strange to him, as he wasn’t expecting this sort of appearance) and looked maybe 14 years old at most.

”I’m always watching, silly dilly.” Miz giggled behind her hands, floating a few inches from the ground. She was dressed in a fluttery, frilly golden bricked dress. “Well, right now at least.” she amended with a little shrug. “Truth be told, I only discovered this place recently. And I figured I should ask politely before stepping in to do something myself.” she nodded.

“You… sorry, what? You’re Cipher?”

Miz tipped her top hat at him. “Hello, I’m Miz Cipher. The Bill Cipher from dimension…” she trailed off. “Um… hang on, I always forget what my number is… er…” she had a very cutesy look of concentration on her face, puffing out her cheeks and pouting.

Ford just stared at her.

”Oh! Oh! I remember now!” Miz clapped her hands. “I’m from dimension 13291395!” she did a little dance, looking super proud of herself for remembering.

“I… don’t believe I know that one.” He could only manage a whisper, it took all of his willpower not to squeak.

What in the ever-loving hell was happening to him?

”Most people don’t. I haven’t opened my Doors to everyone, you know?” Miz put her hands on her hips. “Stranger danger and all that.” she gave Ford a long look up and down. “Though~ you’re pretty cute~ so maaaaybe I’ll give you an invite if you’re up for it~” she winked at him.

Ford tried not to pass out.

Miz burst out laughing at the look on his face. “I’m joking! Yeesh! I happen to already have a boyfriend, you know? Granted, he’s another Ford, but that’s not the point. I mean, just ‘cause you’re both Ford doesn’t mean you’re the _same_ ya know?” (And yes, she was very much playing it up right now, her theatricality on full display. She wasn’t sure how safe this Ford was, so she wasn’t going to be feeling comfortable enough to be her genuine Self right now.)

Deciding to process the Other-Bill-dating-Other-Ford revelation for a time in which he was not having an aneurysm, he carefully leaned himself against a wall. His legs felt shaky. Ford tried for a deep, calming breath and halfway-managed it.

Should he get his gun out? Try to shoot? No, she wasn’t mad yet, that should be a last resort. Questions. He needed to ask questions. Figure out what was going on.

Besides, Bill’s tangents always got him good and distracted.

“What do you want from us?” He said, in a slightly stronger voice.

”Treating the local Bill more humanely at least. Even most prisons have beds and blankets.” Miz huffed. “Do you have any idea how cold he was? Left down here night after night? With nothing but the clothes on his back to lie on the metal ground with?”

Local Bill? How many were there? God, probably hundreds--

“No, I-- I’m asking, why did you come here? Another Weirdmaggedon?”

Miz blinked, looking taken aback. “What? Nooo~” she pouted up at him. “I’ve never done Weirdmageddon before! I’m not old enough!” she stomped her foot on the air she stood on. “Nevermind _another_ one.”

“You… haven’t caused a Weirdmaggedon yet. But you’re _planning_ to?”

”I don’t know.” she placed a finger on her chin and thought about it. “Frankly, I don’t have any reason to do so. And I don’t really feel like doing it either. But the other Bills all do it, so I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some kinda rite of passage thing? Or maybe just a Fixed Point that I’m supposed to hit as part of the plot?”

“Plot?” He said weakly.

”Yup! I actually don’t know what my plot is yet.” Miz sounded a little sad. “So I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.” she paused. “Wait, I’m not filtering my words again. Dammit Miz, gotta get back on this.” she poked her head a few times. “Anyway, it’s not important. I’m here because I was bored and was exploring to find other Bills, and then I found the one in there-” she pointed at the door. “And I didn’t like how he was being treated. You know he’s human now, right? No powers, no regeneration, no immortality… he might catch pneumonia or something if you leave him like that.”

Well, here it was. Confirmation. Bill could be killed. That is, if Miz could be trusted...

Hmm.

”If you try to kill him, I would be very cross with you.” Miz admonished him, making Ford pale as he realized she could read his mind. “No, it’s not reading. It’s hearing. You think too loud. Try thinking more quietly. It’s very obnoxious.”

Ford wondered faintly if this was some weird dream Bill had cooked up.

”Not a dream. But definitely non-canon.” Miz said cheerfully.

Non… canon? “So you came here for him?” He gestured toward the door.

”I mean, if he wants to come with me, sure. But he seems kinda suspicious of me.” Miz gasped dramatically, swooning back. “Which is ridiculous! There’s nothing suspicious about me at all!”

After a moment, he registered her sarcasm. “What are you going to do with him?” Bring him back to power?

Miz blinked. And then she breathed in while burying her face in her hands. “Omigosh. I didn’t even think of that! That’s SUCH a good idea!”

He felt the blood drain from his face.

”Thanks Ford! You have such good ideas! Reminds me of my dear Fordsie.” she sighed dreamily, blushing as she thought about him. “Such a smart man.”

In a small corner of his mind he had the wherewithal to hope his dimension’s Bill hadn't harbored similar feelings. Miz blinked. “Hey! You’re distracting me!” she complained. She straightened up, pointing a finger up at Ford. “So you should be nicer to Bill. I know he’s a bitch, but he’s got no powers right now. And apparently didn’t even know how to clean himself…” she made a face. “Why do the other Bills not know how to do basic human shit? We’ve been watching humanity since it began, how the fuck do they fail at this?” and then more quietly, she muttered, ”Toasters aren’t so strange. They have them out in space too! Yeesh!”

He hoped the question was rhetorical.

And taking care of Bill was _already_ hard enough. Seeing his face, hearing his voice… and he had no idea what this Miz’s standards were. If she demanded they put him on a pedestal...

”Pffth heck no. Pedestals are for statues.” was Miz’s input on that idea.

Bill _had_ been a statue until recently...

”Yeah, no more petrification. I know that’s kinda hypocritical for me to say that, considering those poachers who hurt Xan-Xan are _still_ in that museum, but being trapped in stone while conscious kinda sucks, ya know?” Miz commented before she made a grimace. “Ok seriously, this dimension is… I’m slipping a lot. This place is too wibbly.” Miz looked up at the ceiling(?) and frowned. “Hang on, gonna change my settings…” she waved her hand and a headband appeared. As Ford stared, she put it on and sighed, some of the high energy seeming to deflate out of her. “Ok, gonna have to wear this for a while, at least until I get used to the energy here. It’s making me too hyper.” she nodded.

Ford came to terms with the fact that he probably wasn’t going to understand half of what she said, and this wasn’t really an appropriate time to ask her about it, as much as his inner college student wanted to.

He wouldn’t anyway. He couldn’t get attached to a Bill again. They were never genuine. She was probably reading his thoughts right now, or-- or manipulating them.

”I don’t mess with people’s minds. It’s no fun if you’re not reacting to my jokes in a genuine way, you know? Also, seriously. Think more quietly. I don’t want to have to shut myself off just to keep you out.” Miz sighed, looking rather annoyed at him.

How the hell did someone think quietly? (“Try imagining a foam board around your head. The metal plate sort of muffles stuff, but it’s more meant to keep me from getting in, and not to keep your thoughts from coming out.” Miz helpfully(?!) suggested.)

“So if I don’t… keep up to your standard with Bill you’re going to do something.” Ford asked apprehensively.

”Yes.” Miz nodded. “I will have to move in to make sure he’s properly fed and cleaned and tucked into bed with a kiss and a cup of warm milk.” she paused. “I mean, I’m not asking for much. Just proper food, a change of clothes, an actual bed to sleep on. And maybe a couple of fidget spinners. Make sure your Bill has the proper enrichment.” she lectured(?!)

“And you mean what by ‘enrichment?’”

She was moving into the Shack? His-- Soos’s house? Well he-- he couldn’t really stop her, could he? Unless he wanted to engage in a deal… which could be fatal.

And at his question, Miz’s expression suddenly turned serious. Her entire posture and tone changed as well. “Do you really want to see a Bill Cipher _bored_?” and she almost looked menacing, despite the ribbons and ruffles. **“You wouldn’t like Bill when he’s bored.”**

And just as quickly as it came, the dark look on her face was gone and she was smiling again. “Give him some books, or Sudoku puzzles? I dunno, you could ask him what he would like to play with. I’m happy with just paper and other arts and craft supplies.”

So he was expected not not just tolerate but _entertain_ his mortal enemy. The thing that had tried to murder his family in cold blood.

”Well if you really can’t stand having Bill here, then let him go.” Miz shrugged. “Don’t see why you’re making such a big deal of it. He’s got no magic. He can barely overpower Dipper. I bet Mabel could deck him into next week if she actually tried.”

“You want me to give him to you?” Another Cipher. God, that was a bad idea in a hundred ways...

”If he wants to come with me, yeah.” Miz shrugged. “Look, all I’m saying is, if you had _anyone else_ down here as your prisoner, would you lock them in a cold room with no heating, no bedding and no blankets?”

“Depends on what they did.”

”So a level of crime now dictates how many human rights someone is allowed, is that what you’re saying?” Miz raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him.

“He’s not human!” No, no, don’t yell, don’t aggravate her!

”He’s human enough right now that I couldn’t even sense him when I first came here. Hell, I met a Bill Cipher who was literally reincarnated as a human, and spent his whole life as a human, and even _he_ had more magical presence than the guy in that room.” Miz narrowed her eyes. “So, to repeat my question, if anyone else was down here as your prisoner, would you force them to stay in this living situation?”

“It depends on what they did. I’m not going to wait hand and foot on a psychopathic killer.”

”I’m not asking you to fucking worship him, I’m asking you to treat him like a human being who has _rights_.”

At the word ‘worship,’ Ford winced, remembering the early days. All his blind faith.

“You’re a Bill. What do you do when someone tries to hurt someone _you_ lo--” he stopped. He guessed that kind of thing didn’t apply to a Cipher.

“I’ll eviscerate them. Unless the one I love wouldn’t want me to. And let me tell you, I have held myself back from killing a _lot_ of people just ‘cause my friend was more merciful than I am.” Miz glowered. “Generally, I get my friend out and away from whoever was trying to hurt them, and ask them how they want me to _deal_ with their attacker.” she paused. “But I will confess, this type of self control is new. I used to kill first and ask questions later. But I’ve been learning self control and anger management from my therapist. It’s the reason why you’re all still alive right now after I found that poor boy in the basement, shivering on the cold metal ground.”

How was eviscerating your enemies any better than what he was doing? He wasn’t being inhumane. He was feeding Bill. He gave Bill his own sweaters for AXOLOTL’s sake! It was more than he deserved.

“Yes, that was very nice of you. It was one of those points in the [Calm down, he’s not being entirely cruel] category that made me cool my head and stop being angry at you all.” Miz nodded. “Look, we can stand here arguing about it all day, and I doubt you have the lung capacity for that.” Miz waved off. “If you don’t want to take care of Bill like a human, then just give him to me.”

“No,” Ford said quickly.

He couldn’t. Even if he was mostly sure she’d been joking about the ‘bringing him back to power’ part. The only person he could trust was himself. He was a survivor. A scientist.

He certainly couldn’t trust a Cipher.

Miz had no expression on her face as she processed his answer. Finally, she shrugged. “Ok. I’ll just stay down here in the basement with him to take care of him then. Don’t worry about feeding me or anything, I’m self sufficient.” she nodded and turned on her heel, walking towards Bill’s door.

“Wait-- what are you doing?”

Miz knocked on the door. “Hello? Bill? Are you awake? Can I come in?” she asked.

“Don’t-- don’t--” he struggled to come up with a compelling argument. The two of them would plot against him. Maybe they even knew each other already. Maybe they had a plan!

Should he shoot Bill? Miz? Before anything happened? Miz absently flicked her fingers and Ford’s gun turned translucent. It was still there, but Ford’s hands would pass right through without being able to pick it up or touch it now. She didn’t appreciate being shot.

”Hm, I guess he can’t hear me…” Miz sighed and opened the door, not all the way, just a crack. “Hello? Bill? Are you awake? Can I come in?”

He glared at her from the corner of the room. “I told you to leave.”

She had a physical body? How the _hell_ did she have a physical body?

”You didn’t specify how loooong~” Miz sang. “I left and then I came back. How are you feeling? Are you hungry? I can make you breakfast.”

For a moment he just stared at her. Why was she so damn insistent?

He needed to figure her out and fast. What she really wanted. How to deal with her. How to get rid of her. But she still had her All-Seeing Eye and he didn’t.

Bill refused to get shown up by this other him. He could take care of himself thanks very much.

“I just want to make sure you’re ok.” Miz said quietly. “If you’re worried about some ulterior motive, it’s because you’re a Bill. And I don’t like seeing you being mistreated.”

“Why don’t you worry about yourself? Or has everyone in your home dimension taken advantage of you?”

”’Cause I’m suicidal, and have very low self esteem, so I have trouble caring about my own health and safety and instead spend my time taking care of other people in a desperate attempt to fill the painful void inside my heart from losing my siblings and being left all alone for years and years.” Miz said it so casually that it took Ford a few moments to really comprehend what she’d just let drop there.

Bill didn’t bat an eye at this revelation. “See? Sounds like you have plenty of shit to keep you occupied.”

“Well yeah. But I’m here right now. And you’re here right now.” Miz didn’t back down.

“Then LEAVE.”

“Not until I know you’ll be ok here.”

“I can take care of myself!” he repeated, “I’m a Bill Cipher. You know that as well as I do.”

“Do you know how to floss your teeth?” Miz asked.

“I know lots of things.”

He hoped she didn’t know he’d lost his infinite knowledge. That would be bad. She already had a leg up on him.

Miz blinked at that. “Oh, so you’re like Seb.” she said sadly. “Your Eye is gone.”

“No! It’s not.” he balled his fists inside his sweater sleeves, but didn’t bring them out. If this ever came down to violence, he’d be dead.

“Why are you so afraid of accepting my help?” Miz asked more softly.

“Because you’re also a Bill Cipher?” He laughed.

“We’re not all the same. Weird as that is to believe. But I suppose you don’t know that.” Miz sighed, looking almost forlorn.

“Then go find one as sappy as you.”

“I feel bad that you’re down here.” Miz sat down on the floor across from Bill.

“That’s your problem.”

“He doesn’t want your help,” Ford said, quietly.

Bill glanced over at him. Ford didn’t like this Bill either. But he couldn’t stop her from doing what she liked.

Her staying would annoy him. So, either way a bit of a win-win. Except he’d have to deal with her, trying to offer him things and draw him into her debt, into a Deal.

”No Deals.” Miz stated. “No debt. I’m doing this because of my own selfish reasons. I don’t want or need anything from you in exchange for it.”

Ford spoke up again. “You said you would stay here if he wanted it. He obviously doesn’t.”

Bill’s glare moved from Miz to him. Miz hadn’t looked away from Bill, though she wasn’t looking him in the eye, more just keeping her gaze in his general direction. She was flicking the bow on her dress absently.

“Do you want me to leave?” Miz finally asked Bill directly.

“Yes. And never return.” He made sure to clarify this, in case she wanted to play with clauses again.

“And what if I don’t want to do that?” Miz asked stubbornly.

He had nothing to say to that. Nothing that wouldn’t sound childish or incriminating.

“Don’t you have your own Ford to return to? You seem, erm, fond of him.” Ford tried to touch his gun, to comfort himself, but his hand passed through it. He furrowed his brow.

”...I’ll leave for now. But I’ll come back to check on you.” Miz huffed, that point that Ford made seeming to actually resonate with her. “Besides, I’ve got my family to take care of too.” she paused. “You’re almost family. But if you need some space for now, I’ll back off. But I’m going to be back.” and she got to her feet, brushing off her dress.

Bill wrinkled his nose. Family? With _her_? He didn’t need one. It was safer to be alone, even from a practical standpoint.

”Being alone means no one to watch your back for you.” Miz turned and seemed to disperse into mist, fading from view as her last words lingered in the air.

Hah. It also meant no one to stab you in the back.


	3. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i seriously cannot even come up with a better chapter title my brain has completely short-circuited

Blue was not in the greatest of moods upon entering this new ‘set.’

Not _least_ of which because, upon entry, he found himself _IMMEDIATELY_ **SLAMMED** out of the general Mindscape and back down into physical form.

(Some things, always energizing his stupid humanish body up into energy to take it along with him was good for. This sort of thing? _NOT SO MUCH._ )

Blue _barely_ managed to send the mental command out, for the auto-reflex to his robotic ‘prosthetic’ extendable arms, to have all four of the shoot out -- _around_ any obstacles -- and grab on, to bring him to a quick-stop.

 _Bare inches_ above the table his heads-up display was telling him was below him. But he quickly reoriented, pushing-pulling himself upwards (two ‘legs’ from the floor-upwards, two ‘arms’ hauling him in towards the ceiling-rafters) and got himself flipped over and ‘floating’ (hanging) in place.

...and was about to start cursing up a storm, but was instead immediately struck with the notion of ‘ _may_ be I should have set my ‘suit to visible before coming in’ instead of just letting the arms stay visible when extended from the suit’s port at the small of his back, under his clothing.

Because _apparently_ this local Bill Cipher was living in a Stanley-house under a unicorn hair ‘mystical’ barrier, and was in the middle of _eating things_ in the presence of at least two Pines -- no, make that _three_ \-- and, in Blue’s experience, drop-in visitors tended to make most Pines of the twin variety a little bit _punchy_. Especially when they thought they saw something puch _able_ dangling there in front of them.

\---

Bill was attempting to eat a sandwich when something landed(?) on the table.

He saw four metal limb-like things grab hold of the table. --No, almost. They _barely_ avoided it and went for the floor and the rafters.

If this was Miz again he was going to be pissed. If it wasn’t… then he guessed he had _another_ issue on his hands.

There was a muffled voice, but it cut off suddenly. “F--”

“Okay, what the hell is this,” Shadow said, from across the table. And the newcomer _immediately_ pulled himself half up into the rafters, yanking the two lower arms up off the floor.

”I did NOT crash-land in!” came a rather annoying-sounding female voice. “There was NO crashing. NONE. That was a PERFECT landing,” they said, and--

Shadow took another bite of his own food and spoke through it. “I never said anything about crashing. Now who are you and whaddaya want from us?”

He seemed perfectly unbothered by this intrusion.

So of course the strange woman gave him the most suspicious look imaginable, before dropping down _slightly_ farther back down out of the rafters, feet-first, as she(?) answered, “You can call me Blue.” Their eyes narrowed further. “What do you _think_ that I might want from you?” they said next.

“Dunno. My soul? A bumper sticker? We got a couple of those out back.”

’Blue’ seemed to get a bit of a carefully blank look at that.

”Were. Were you _looking_ for someone to sell your soul to?” this Blue character said next, even as their eyes flicked over to Bill, to land and keep their gaze on him.

“Not particularly.”

Then the thing blinked, turned back towards Shadow, and said, “... _Bumper sticker?_ ”

Now the one upside of this interruption was that it took all their attention away from him. And naturally he had been going to take advantage of it. He’d stuffed the sandwich into his mouth and slid quietly out of the chair.

He could run now. Could he make it past the barrier?

Probably. Hopefully. The residual magic from Ax’s transformation should have long worn off.

But because the thing had been staring at him for a good while there now, of course Shadow glanced over too.

“Bill. Get back here.”

Yeah, _no._

He bolted.

(Blue blinked as he stayed where he was, hanging out of the rafters, and watched this.)

This time he made it out the door, the screen banging shut behind him and screeching back open again. Someone was very, very close behind him.

Bill forced himself to run harder, even though he hadn’t really actually run before, except the last time he’d tried this.

He had to make it this time. Because Ax knew they weren’t going to let him upstairs anymore after this.

“Grappling hook!”

Something hit him in the head. _Hard._

He yelled and dropped his sandwich. Oh well. He could probably find food somewhere else. He would have to.

Something shot out and wrapped around his legs, pulling them out from under him. He tripped, and slammed his chin into the dirt.

“Gotcha!”

Damn Shooting Star.

\---

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Blue was looking after the bolting… human… was that supposed to be _him?_ Blue was _confused_. His suit’s readings weren’t showing any real energy that showed up much beyond the norm **at all**. _Certainly_ nothing he would identify as an energy being who was just temporarily stuck down in a stupid human (or human- _ish_ ) form. And...

“HAHA!” he tried, turning towards this Stanley with a wide grin. “Did I just miss the _start_ of the running of the _Bills?_ ”

“Excuse me?” Stan took another bite of sandwich. “But you still haven’t explain what the hell you’re doing in my-- the house.”

Blue blinked at him.

“I am not-crashing here,” Blue repeated. “The thing I am doing here, was, is not-crashing. And now I am hanging out of some wood-beam rafters,” he said practically, and very matter-of-fact.

“I’m pretty sure you know what I mean.” Stan looked over at the bag of chips laying open on the table and reached for them.

“ _I_ am ‘pretty sure’ that we don’t speak the same stupid ‘modern’ human American English language,” was Blue’s response to that.

“‘Kay, if you wanna be like that you can go ahead and leave.”

“I absolutely can,” said Blue, lowering himself down close enough to the floor that his feet came down level with it and he moved his weight to them. On the other side of the table from this Stanley. “Didn’t even ask for a dictionary,” Blue just about huffed.

“Don’t go hurting anyone, especially not the two twins out there. Or we’re gonna have a problem.”

Blue eyed him. “I _don’t_ take orders from **Y̗̅̊͂͒ͥͦO͇̠̤͈̥̞ͩ̌̓Ú̴͖͕͈͐̓ͭ**.” A pause. “Or anyone really.”

“How about a friendly suggestion?” He offered the bag. “Want some chips?”

Blue was about to respond with an ‘...I take suggestions’, but was distracted by the next offer of a chip bag. Blue eyed the bag from his vantage point across the table (and out of arm's reach), even as he slowly drew all four of his robotic prosthetic arms back in.

“Are the chips not-yours and now-mine?” Blue hadn’t gotten the chance yet to actually _check out_ the structure of the place, the whole ‘set here, just yet. Though some things were _clearly_ the same. So he could _probably_ trust his suit’s scanners to be working properly here without external-hacking or some other form of **lying** interference. And his suit’s scanners were telling him, from the readouts, that those things didn’t contain any poison. ...Just a significant amount of added-salt. (Ew.)

“Eh, sure why not.” He tossed the bag at the thing watching him from across the table. “Catch.”

Blue snatched it out of the air with a robotic arm that extended in front of him in a flash. He slowly brought it in, and his jaw worked a bit, as he weighed the pros and cons of eating something he knew was, to him, going to taste **nasty**.

Blue still intoned, “MINE,” though, and plucked it out of his robotic ‘hand’ with his biological one. (The packaging wasn’t laced or covered in poison or some other absorbable substance here, either. Seemed safe enough for handling.) He was clearly holding it, and cocking his head at it, in a way that made it clear he was debating what, exactly, he wanted to DO with it, and was coming up empty.

Stan watched this, and tried not to laugh from the sheer absurdity of the situation. Well, decent manners and a good head could get you pretty far, even with supernatural folk.

After a few seconds or so, the oddity standing in his kitchen handed the bag back over to a robotic arm again, while rummaging through a pocket for… something.

And pulled out a white triangle.

Stan frowned at the shape.

Blue worked at it with both hands for a moment, and _somehow_ this unfolded into a common-enough looking two-handled plastic grocery bag. Which was half-full with something, but Stan didn’t get a good look at what before Blue moved the arm over to drop the chip bag inside it, and did something else with their hands to fold it back down into a small inch-wide white triangle again.

Which Blue promptly shoved back into a pocket, one-handed.

“GRUNKLE STAN! I caught him!” Mabel poked her head into the kitchen, then came out dragging Bill alongside her. His uncovered eye looked bruised, and he was barely concealing a snarl.

“Atta girl, pumpkin.”

Blue looked over this critically (as well as via his readouts), and huffed out an, “UGH. Stupid human- _head_ ‘concussions’.” He rolled his eyes at this.

“Oh,” Mabel said. She grabbed Bill by the shoulders and looked up at him. “Do you have one of those? How hard did I hit you, anyway?”

He just looked at her as if he wanted to bite her.

Blue checked his suit’s sensor readouts again, which were good for a _much_ wider and farther area than any of them had gone, broad and deep in all three-and-a-half local dimensions (and then some). “You hit him in the head with a metal grappling hook. Do _inertia_ and _momentum_ not exist here?” he drawled out at them all next, rocking back on his heels just a bit.

“They definitely do,” Dipper said, coming into the kitchen with his twin. He was holding his shock baton loosely at his side. He wore a more guarded expression than Stan or Mabel, who had decided she trusted her Grunkle’s opinion of the stranger-- so far, that they deserved respect and hospitality.

“So that’s a yes on the concussion?” she asked.

“Unless concussions go differently in this dimension here, yes!” Blue was happy to tell them all brightly with a grin.

Bill pushed lightly at Mabel, as if he wasn’t sure he could get away with doing so. He frowned at Blue. “Did Miz send you?” he asked of the female-looking human-looking thing.

Blue blinked at them, and his grin eased down into almost a light frown.

”My sister didn’t send me,” Blue told him, with the slightest amount of emphasis on the ‘send’. “She told me that she came here awhile ago. After a very-specific local-time-and-date. I came here to ‘look around’ myself here, for… reasons,” he ended on, both suspiciously and almost abruptly.

Bill wrinkled his nose at this. _Sister, _huh?__

Hadn’t Miz referred to him as “bro-bro” just that morning?

Obviously she couldn’t mean it in the literal sense. They were not related that way. Did it mean this thing worked for her? Did that make it another Bill Cipher?

“SO!” Blue clapped his hands together. “You haven’t told me what to call _YOU!_ ” Blue said brightly next, turning towards and looking directly at him.

Bill did not deign to answer this. He would much rather leave, or at least drive the thing’s head through a wall.

Were Miz’s ‘siblings’ going to keep coming around, messing with the Pines, messing with him? What the hell did they even want from him? He was depowered and dethroned.

His thoughts were interrupted by the thing turning its head slightly away from him, back towards Shadow, and saying, “You never said what your ‘friendly suggestion’ was-and-is.”

“Well... To leave.” Or at least try to be cooperative...

Blue gave this Stanley a long, deadpan look.

“That doesn’t sound very ‘friendly’. Or like you want it to be a ‘suggestion’.”

“Well, no one's making you leave, are they?” The tension in the room had picked up a good bit since the twins and Bill came back. Stan tried not to let his concern show.

At this, Blue got a VERY NASTY wide grin.

“You say that like you think you could _make_ me,” Blue said, slowly, and with somewhat of a near-challenge to his words.

Stan tried to diffuse the situation. “We can’t know until we try-- but the way I meant it was we’d like you to leave, but you _can_ stay. We were trying to have a family lunch. That clear anything up for you?”

Blue blinked at this.

“Ah,” Blue said, seeming to settle back down just a bit. He raised his hands up in something of a steeple in front of his chest, and tapped a few of his fingers together. “I _interrupted_ a thing. _YOU_ think that I am being... _’rude’_.” Though Blue glanced back over at Bill again as he said this, a question in his eyes.

“Yeah, a little.” The tension in his shoulders eased ever-so-slightly and he returned to his meal.

“Do you know what this person here,” Blue gestured to Bill, “Calls himself?” he asked of this Stanley next, turning back towards him. Since apparently he wasn’t going to get a response out of the individual themselves.

“His name is Bill,” Stan said, omitting the Cipher. Unsurprisingly, Bill Cipher was very, very infamous.

“Last name?” Blue queried next. “--Don't lie!” he added, chirped this out rather quickly.

“Can I ask why you want to know?” He made himself eat more sandwich. If he showed he was comfortable enough to eat, then it would give of an air of him being confident. Prepared. Unbothered.

Blue grinned at this rather winningly. “You can!” And _waited_. Because… was he going to?

“Alright. Why do you wanna know?”

Blues grin widened just a bit, and his eyes lit up for a moment at the question, before he settled down a bit again, looking just pleased.

“Because I’d like to know if MURDERING YOU ALL for annoying me might cause some _issue_ for the Bill Cipher who might be around here somewhere. I’d _hate_ to kill you when he might still actually need-or-want you alive.” A quick pause, then, “Also, I wouldn’t like anyone- _else_ playing with **MY** Zodiac in-any-way **without** my express and expressly-given permission,” he noted rather glibly to this Stanley next. “I’d _think_ it might be a ‘good’ idea to avoid any potential _rudeness_ with the local version of me, as events might progress.”

Dipper swallowed hard, and Blue’s gaze flicked over to him next. ...And now that Blue had a bit more time to look a little closer at some of his readings on the other individual beings around him, there were small bruise marks just-about the size-and-shape of fingers around his neck.

Bill looked long and hard at ‘Blue,’ who was quite obviously another Bill. This was a test, some sort of mind thing, and while they were fun to play if you were in charge, he didn’t know how to proceed with this. Usually, he’d just destroy anyone who bothered.

Which meant he was now at an impasse. He didn’t _want_ the Pines alive, or for them to think he wanted that, particularly. But if he didn’t make a stand for his own property, this Bill would see fit to do what he wanted with everyone including him. But if he did make a stand, he was sure to lose, Ax-dammit!

” _Or_ ,” Blue said next, “I could just _go outside_ for a while, hmm, a minute or two? --And See for _myself_ what events have ‘gone down’ around these parts, in your dimension right here.”

And Blue stood there and waited.

“What do you want with my Zodiac?” Bill asked as evenly as he could, and this Blue thing’s head swiveled around towards him immediately.

“Haha,” Blue said, with a there-and-gone grin, clapping its hands together and keeping them there, right there in front of its chest. “ _I_ don’t want them. _I_ have my own. Irreplaceable. _Not_ looking for any new-ones _or_ more.” Blue cocked his head at him easily. And in tones that came off as rather worryingly _sane_ this time, Blue said to him next, “ _Your_ mutual nonaggression agreement with these Pines doesn’t seem to be going very well.” A pause. “Did you **fail** somehow with them, at this-and-their-own negotiating table?”

There really hadn’t been a negotiation so much as a ‘you do this and we’ll let you live.’

But of course that was the absolute last thing this Bill needed to know.

There wasn’t a safe way to answer this. He knew it. He just needed to find the path of least resistance… or lead the conversation away from him altogether.

“Why are you asking about my Zodiac? What do you mean by ‘playing’ with them?”

Blue opened his mouth, raising a finger on one hand up.

And… _paused_.

And blinked.

And closed his mouth again.

And then looked at Bill just a _little_ bit more critically.

Bill himself kept his face carefully blank. He knew how to play the game, a bit, but since he’d always had a hundred fail-safes he’d never really needed to. And he’d _never_ had to play it when all he had were bluffs.

Eventually, after a long pause, Blue ended up tapping that finger against his chin and saying, “...Do you want some _help_ with that ‘concussion’ of yours first. Stupid human bodies _are_ stupid. And heads with ‘concussions’ are NOT all-that _conducive_ for thinking.”

“Did I ask for your help?” Bill deadpanned.

“No,” Blue said simply. “I am _offering_.” A pause. “It is _optional_. You can say no.” Another, longer pause, then, almost tentatively. “...‘Stop’ and ‘no’ are important for humans,” Blue said, in rather odd tones to him next.

“Seeing as I didn’t ask for your help, I think it’s pretty clear I don’t need or want it.” He found himself wanting to copy the speech patterns of the offending Bill. That was… probably not good. To show he thought anything about him was impressive. “And I am not human.”

”Not-human yes,” Blue agreed easily, then paused for a bit. “Ah. Yes. You don’t trust me.” Blue seemed to blink at himself as he said this, then frowned. “I blame Miz for this,” he said next in slightly-annoyed tones, apropos of none. Then, after an odd uncomfortable expression passed across his face, “...Also Lee.” He blinked. “...and...” he stopped himself there, frowning further.

“‘Scuse me, what?” Stan said, trying very hard not to sound nonplussed.

“Not _you_ ,” Blue waved off, without even looking at him. He pinched the bridge of his nose after this, looking like he was getting a bit of a headache. “...can’t go the ‘you-are-also-a-me’ front, can’t say that one way or the other yet --wait.” Blue looked up at Bill again, dropping his hand, and said, “Do you trust **yourself** ,” to him next.

Bill tilted his head in what he knew to be a casual way, and allowed himself a small smile, showing off the slightly sharpened canines of his new mouth. “What kind of question is that?”

Blue let out a huff of breath.

“I,” Blue began, “Have met **many** people who do not trust themselves AT ALL. And some who actually do. Beings tend to not; demons tend to. But not always. --So it is a question that I do want answered. Preferably, _honestly_ ,” Blue said to him next, hands on his hips and looking vaguely _annoyed_ with him at this point, now.

“What _I_ would like an honest answer to is why you’re here poking around in my business when I don’t know anything other than your name.”

“Fine,” said Blue. “An answer for an answer; a trade. Yes?”

“Well you see, I don’t give two fucks about whether you trust yourself or not.” Bill said, “This trade holds no value for me.”

“But you _do_ want me to answer your question about why I am here doing things,” Blue said next, striding towards him, to come to a stop only a good two feet away.

“I guess?” He said. There was no way to tell if this Bill would answer him honestly. After all, he had only specified that _he_ needed to be honest. “But you’re a Bill. It shouldn’t be too impossible to figure it out myself.”

“Assuming you are a me-who-is-also-me, yes,” Blue told him simply, “Rather than a me-who-is-NOT-me-at-all,” he ended, a bit darker and far more dangerously.

And then Blue smiled at him suddenly, no teeth, as if to try and take the ‘scary’ out of that one.

Bill’s own smile had faded off during the conversation, but since he’d noticed Ford paying extra attention to them (and Dipper wincing when he saw them, after the bite) he let his own teeth show a bit. He was _not_ to be patronized.

Blue blinked and tilted his head to the side a little at this, almost imperceptibly.

Bill waited for him to continue trying to make a deal, and wondered if he might have a chance at running again, since he doubted he would be let upstairs any longer after today.

Blue waited a little while, then sighed at this.

“‘Hard way’ it is, then,” Blue said next, turning and stepping away from him easily. (Blue didn’t quite turn his back on any of them completely, all throughout this, and this was no sudden exception to things as they stood.)

Bill tried for a laugh, sharp and cold. “Hah! Hard way?”

Blue, who had been turning towards the local Stanley again, paused, and turned back against more towards Bill.

“Yes. And no,” said Blue. “‘Hard way’ as humans talk about it, yes. Not hard for _me_.” Blue regarded him for a moment. “ _I_ call it _inefficiency_.”

“Uh-huh. Care to enlighten us or are you still tryn’a be mysterious?”

“You never said you wanted a copy of my Stanley’s demon-to-human dictionary,” Blue said to Stan, turning back towards him. “Now. _First_ -things-first before second-things-second. Do you have _’hospitality ceremonies’_ here?”

Stanley looked interested. Dipper looked as interested as he could while also looking terrified. Mabel held a quiet, hard expression on her face. Lunch had been long forgotten.

“...Hospitality ceremonies?” Stan pressed.

“For visitors. Greeting-ceremony, guest-covenant. --Humans dimensions usually have them, May involve bread-and-salt, or some other combination,” it was clear from the look on Blue’s face that _other combination_ would be preferable for him, “Where the head-of-house gives hospitality to a guest, and a guest-right of protection for the length of their stay, and the guest has the return-responsibility of ‘holding their sword in their house’ for the duration. Usually plus a few hours-upon-leaving, or days.”

“I can’t say that we do.”

Dipper shook his head slightly. “I think he’s talking about summoning circles… and xenia?”

Blue sighed deeply at this -- because this WASN’T supposed to be _”ancient” human history_ at this point, Stanley should have recognized this himself -- then looked over at Bill sourly. “You didn’t _continually introduce_ this to the later cultures of humans here.” He didn’t sound very pleased.

“Why would I get hung up on something like that? I don’t need bread and I don’t need hospitality. I’m an entity of chaos, not a human.”

Blue rolled his eyes at this, and said, “Because getting humans to stop fighting as much means they can end up doing more work for you, instead? And getting them _used to_ following rituals with outcomes they like makes it easier to get them to follow the ‘rules’ they think exist for certain sorts of summonings?” He said both these things like this were all obvious, rhetorical questions he was making.

“I don’t care what they do,” Bill said. “I don’t want or need humans to do anything for me.” They just came with the land. The space. They were just parasites.

Blue eyed him over this next.

And then Blue said, rather carefully -- almost _delicately_ \-- to him, “...Weren’t you trying to get out of your ‘Nightmare Realm’ and into… here?”

Bill nodded, because that kind of thing couldn’t be kept secret --his Weirdmaggedon had had widespread repercussions in space and time on the other end of things. And although he had failed, that he had gotten so far might count for something with this Bill.

“And you are physically here now,” Blue continued rather slowly, and in those odd careful tones. “Which is what you wanted… isn’t it?”

No. Not like this. And not alone.

Bill did not allow himself to speak.

Blue let out a long breath, that was almost a sigh.

“You **do** realize that I can see every spark of your stupid human body’s brainwaves right now, don’t you?” Blue told him rather flatly. (And just a _little_ bit misleadingly for now, since most humans required a reference point before proper decoding of thought-signals -- in days-weeks or months of information, not minutes or hours -- but Blue kept that well to himself.)

Blue could read his thoughts.

And just like that, the game was over, and he had lost _... unless Blue was lying._

And that was a big claim to make, so either Blue simply knew Bill had no way to properly disprove him or he _was_ telling the truth anyway.

But he bet on the former because he couldn’t not hope, and because he felt that if Blue really could read his thoughts the conversation would have ended long ago, or, if asking the questions was necessary to find his thoughts and opinions, it would have been done with much less tact.

(Vital signs for humans, were of course _far_ easier for Blue to read.)

(So it was very easy for him to see -- even from stupid human body language alone, which this Bill seemed to be well-versed in -- that no, this sort of ‘being physically here’ **wasn’t** what this Bill wanted. --Well, Blue wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t the be-all and end-all of what he’d wanted, either; _getting out_ was _supposed_ to be just and only Phase 1.)

Blue grinned widely at Bill next.

And then he stopped, looking rather smug.

Blue turned back towards Stan again.

“Really?” he asked the local Stanley. “Nothing like a current ‘modern human’ set of agreements on ‘live-and-let-live’ _stuff_ at all?” Staying the night and sharing supplies and time-watch until morning, with no inns about? _Surely_ the Scottish clans and such might have done it here, too. Even without his intervention, they’d looked like they’d started down that whole path of things before, as an honor code of sorts for flat-out _survival_ , and-- ...That is, unless those cultural-groups of humans had never existed here, and, UGH.

“You wanna clarify?” Stan said.

Blue let his head fall back on his neck and he _groaned_.

Then he tossed his hands up and seemed to _give up_ over something. Lifted his left arm and tapped at the center of his left forearm with his other hand -- a forearm that was suddenly covered with some sort of high-tech sci-fi looking bracer, even as Blue was muttering things under his breath in a language that didn’t sound at all like English--

\--up until the last part of, “--stupid human internet, fine, yes, HERE,” and an odd window-sized wall of light sprung up into being that Stan hadn’t seen there before. Blue reached out and seemed to grab it at the base with two fingers and thumb, turned it in place towards Stan, and then...

”Fine,” Blue said, “Russian-Polish more _‘nowadays’_ ,” he grumbled out, while tossing Dipper a **look**. “I mean _this_ thing.” He flicked it over towards Stan, and it stopped a good foot away from his face. It was slightly translucent, so Stan could see partially through and behind it to what the creature here was doing. ...And Blue was typing away, and apparently pulling up another one of these things, which he then tossed Dipper’s way.

Mabel scooted a little closer to her brother to squint at the glowing screen-like thing that came to rest near his face.

“Are you saying we’re not being polite enough to you?” she asked. She couldn’t help thinking there were much simpler ways to say such a thing-- or that Blue could always have let things be as they were without taking so much offense.

Blue blinked at this.

“Well,” Blue said, blinking again, looking just a little off-put. “No.” Then he seemed to get his mental feet under himself again to tell her, “It’s an already-existing human ceremony with predefined already-negotiated often-used rights and responsibilities laid out for both parties. Also,” Blue noted, pointing back at himself, “ _Demon._ ” He lowered his hand again. “ _Most_ humans like having a bit more … certainty. On what will happen around a demon, when they do and not-do certain things.” Blue looked at her askance. “...It tends to keep you humans alive?” he tried next.

Stan rubbed a hand over his face. “Look if I wanted a stable, sane life I woulda left the Falls years ago. Why don’t you just tell us what you want.”

Blue barely held down the full-body shudder. (Really, that sort of thing ran the docket from ‘hell no’ to absolute _glee_.)

“For _now_ ,” Blue told him, “In the _very_ short term. Time and space where you and your family -- including that Stanford Pines that I fully- _expect_ must be around here _some_ -where,” Blue said dourly, glancing around the entire room as if expecting him to show up out of the ceiling or pop out of floorboards someplace, “-- do NOT do something utterly STUPID, like try and attack me. And I also do not attack you in return. I have no reason to, here,” Blue said simply.

“So I take it you’re planning to stay, then?” Stan said tiredly, “And that you’re not just passing through and happened to come out here, on top of our lunch.”

“Define: ‘passing through’,” was Blue’s slightly-frowning response to this.

“Going and taking care of whatever business you have elsewhere in this... dimension.”

Blue let out a scoffing noise at this. “I didn’t come here with _business_ in mind,” he told Stan, “Though I wouldn’t be averse to doing some business here, if I happened to find some business that needed to be… handled. Here.” A pause. Then he seemed to shrug _that_ off and tell Stan (and the rest of them) next, “I came here to look around and about at things, mostly. --There, you have _part_ of your question answered ‘for free’,” Blue said to Bill next, before sliding his hands into his pockets and letting out a bit of an odd sigh as he looked back at Stanley, raising his eyebrows in a ‘well?’ sort of look.

Bill narrowed his eyes slightly. He came to look around… for something, someone. Him? Miz? The connection to Miz couldn’t be denied to be a part of this, they had both appeared on the same day.

“We don’t really have any spare rooms,” Stan said. “This isn’t even my place anymore.”

”I don’t need-or-want one,” Blue told him promptly. “I have a tent.”

“Alright,” Stan said slowly, rolling the word around in his mouth. “And you’re also expecting food?”

”No,” Blue told him easily. “I have _plenty_ of that in the tent, too. Also not-in-the-tent; I have plenty of food.”

“And you are staying here with us specifically because?”

Because he was looking for them. Him or them or both. Bill wondered if he would be left alone if he gave up his Pines, because Blue _had_ expressed interest in ‘playing’ with them, whatever that meant.

”Define: ‘here with us’,” Blue said next, tilting his chin up rather inquisitively.

Stan frowned. “You could be anywhere else right now, but you are on m-- our property.”

“‘Here with us’, as defined as this property-lot, as demarcated by the deed from the town?” Blue said, as if looking for clarification.

“Yeah, sure, kid.”

Blue gave him a long look at this.

“Not a kid,” Blue said smoothly, “I was _asking_ for **your** definition. Not a ‘yeah, sure’ that is only _maybe_ -possibly close enough.”

“Yes, that’s my definition,” Stan said. He tried not to look too annoyed.

Blue didn’t look like he entirely believed him, but then seemed to let it go.

“I don’t _have_ to stay on the premises,” Blue noted, even as he glanced back at Bill. “Though I _am_ somewhat… _interested_...” Blue continued, looking away from Bill again and back to Stan, “To see how _whatever_ you have set up with him,” he flipped a lazy hand at Bill, “All plays out.” A slight pause and a smile. “Since he doesn’t seem to _like_ much whatever you have set up with him right here-and-now. _Mister_ Negotiator.” The last, he said to Stan with not quite an amused snort.

“Well that,” Bill said, “Is none of your goddamn business. So go ahead and get off the property, and don’t come back.”

“You say that _now_ ,” Blue told him, looking over at him, “But _not your property_ , **not** your call, and… HMMMMM… oh, yes. _How_ many more blows to the head do you think you can take, before all of your _talking_ runs out?” Blue said to him next almost a little _too_ sweetly. He dropped what little smile he’d had going at the end there, to look back over his shoulder at Stan again and tell him, “Enjoy the rest of your lunch.” He turned away from them all and began walking away after that, headed straight for the nearest exit door to the outside of the Shack.

“Is that a t̸h̶r̸e̴a̸t̴?” Bill said, his voice dropping to lower tones.

But Blue just let out a short ‘ha!’ laugh at this and kept walking, as he called over his shoulder while grinning, “No! --If it was a threat, _**y̙̪̫̲͖̥͚͋̂̐͂͋͜o̓͒̏͝u͈̭̳̮̤̬͕̎͐̊̔ ͏̗̟̙̼̝̭̩w̫͎͠o̹̯̜͓̼͌u̧͖͂l̓͒́͛ͧ͛d̴̙͋ͬ̾̃ ̜͉͊̇̌K̻͉͚͎̩̱̓̓͐ͦṅ͕̬͔ͧ̿ͧ̑o̶̟͔̳̙̮̍̃ͅw̩̘͔͍̤**_ ,” he ended in a rumbling high-low two-toned sort of glee.

...and then he was gone… for now.


	4. Business with The Locals, and New Plans...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jo: Oop, we're starting to get into things, now!

Miz floated around, pouting. No fair that the local Bill didn't want her help. Sure, she was pushy and demanding, but she had it on good authority (her boyfriend's) that those were her good qualities. (Or had he meant her determination and take charge attitude? Eeeehhhh close enough, right?) And she was just worried for his health and physical well being! 

"Maybe I came on a little strong?" Miz muttered to herself, glancing in the direction of where the Shack would be. She was floating above the town, Perception Filter on and around her. Well, this place seemed a nice enough place to set up? She wondered if the local Bill would be super annoyed if she did? Scratch that, she _knew_ for a fact that he would be annoyed at that. And a while ago, that would have sent her spiraling into self doubt and uncertainty, but she was getting better at managing that. She mimed a deep breath. Ok, no. Don't get all upset just 'cause someone doesn't like you. Eh, she wondered if maybe it had been a bad thing to have started wanting to be liked? It hurt her way worse than she'd ever thought. For a really long time. Going back to not-caring how others felt about her was… harder than she thought. Well, she was working on not caring as much, not entirely writing people off, but not hinging her own mood on how they felt about her. Yeesh. She really only did things in extremes, having to shoot for the midground was tough. 

She looked back down at the town. 

Wait, was that... 

Oh! Brother was walking down the side of the road, away from the Shack towards the town! Miz floated down, still in the Mindscape. Looks like he came to check things out after all. 

Blue was, in the process of walking, pulling out a pair of glasses with round lenses as he seemed to be staring off into the distance (checking something with his heads-up display), before putting them on. And Miz saw the perception filter settle into place, masking his blue cat-pupil eyes into normal round human pupils instead. The whites of his eyes stayed as they were, not needing any modification. 

She never saw why it was a problem. She thought his eyes were pretty. 

And she watched as he pulled something else out of his pocket next and-- shouldered a big backpacking hiking camping knapsack looking thing, okay. Huh. And kept walking. 

She made it low enough now to float alongside/beside him. "Hi brother~" she waved. 

She watched him not seem to see her, even as he pulled out a cellphone (the cloned one that looked on the outside like his Shooting Star’s phone), held it up to his ear, and-- 

”Yellow, oh sister of mine,” Blue said with a smile, not looking over at her where she was in the Mindscape, as he continued on walking down the road next to her. 

Miz giggled. "Hey~ So. Have you met the local Bill?" She was sort of skipping as she continued at his pace, despite having no gravity in the Mindscape. 

” _Met_ is a strong word,” Blue told her. “I was there in the kitchen nearby him. He didn’t want to do much talking, or even _identify_ himself to me.” A pause. “Either he is playing a _very_ strange ‘oh I’m such a little weak victim!’ pre-game with the Pines who are here, or…” Blue trailed off at this next, lightly frowning. Because he didn’t exactly like to think of a version of him that might be, potentially, that screwed over by any AXOLOTL and stuck. 

Miz sighed. "Nah, he was stripped of his powers by the local AXhole." 

”And now they are _where?_ ” Blue said to her next (secretly, deep-down ever-hopeful… not that he’d ever **admit** that). 

"Can't figure that out. Either the lizard's still holding onto them… or they were straight up deleted." 

Blue digested this for a few long moments as he walked. “Did you get his prophecy -- from _his_ point of view -- out of him, yet?” 

Miz let out a long suffering sigh. "He refuses to really talk to me. Doesn't trust me at all! Even though I gave him a bed and blanket since he was really cold!" She paused. "I think he thinks I want something from him. 

"Of course you want something from him," Blue noted next. “Which one is his room?” He hadn’t quite been able to narrow that down from his scans yet -- he’d been _busy_ , all right?! 

Miz tilted her head. "Basement. Locked door. They've barely fed him. Like, toast and some eggs and water. And unlike you, he doesn't have the same dietary restrictions." 

Blue sighed. And he turned on, and turned up to full conversation block, his ‘suit’s technological perception filter next before saying, “Either he is playing a game where he WANTS to get hurt, for the pain, towards a tally-this-all-up-for-later and ‘oh, you deserve it!’ sort of... _thing_ , **or** he is... not.” And it would be _very_ hard to tell which was which without direct confirmation from this Bill Cipher himself, with no other people -- beings, demons or otherwise -- listening in. And whether he would lie about it or not would still be, under those circumstances, something of a toss-up, Blue figured. Because _multiple other Bills who might decide to mess with what he wanted to do_ , once they knew what that was, anyway. (Blue stifled a sigh at this.) 

Miz shook her head. "He's not." She clasped her hands behind her back and stretched, "Things in this Set are very different. From what I've Seen." 

”From yours, maybe,” Blue noted. Didn’t seem all that different to _him_ , in the structural setup and otherwise. He still needed to start looking around, spend some more time on tracking down a few more things -- like local history, dimension-wide histories in a few other places, and such -- and otherwise looking around to check the underpinnings of how things worked, both a bit more directly and indirectly. But… for the most part? Things seemed to work largely the same as his own dimension here. Except for this not being a Game here yet, either. Though he’d have to check around a bit more on that one, for a true _confirmation_ of that. It did seem to have about as much structure as Seb’s ‘set so far, though; less understructures and underpinnings than Blue’s own, more free-floating chaos all over the place, in fact. Not very well-handled here, _or_ in Seb’s ‘set, in his opinion. 

Miz wondered if Blue would still think that once he heard how this Bill was purposely trying to kill any version of his own zodiac? Well, any version of the Gleeful/Pines at least. She figured she should say something. "He wants the Pines dead." She didn't sound all that happy about this fact. "Because an alternate set of them in another dimension bound, trapped and used him." 

Blue made a face at this. “ _Why_ did he _let_ them do _that?_ ” He frowned. “To _get out_ of the ‘Nightmare Realm’ that is here?” he asked next, though he was obviously confused by this one greatly. 

"He was young. Really young." Miz pulled a face. "He wasn't trapped, trying to get out either. Not until _later_. He was just summoned and tricked." 

Blue frowned at this. 

” _How many_ Bills are around this whole place?” Blue said next. Because it wasn’t as though his sister hadn’t gotten _confused_ about these sorts of things before. 

"Just. The. One." Miz said seriously. 

“Ever?” (Miz nodded.) Blue sighed at this. He didn't particularly _like_ that, with Stanley having ‘taken back’ the automatic permission for him to use his Eye, that getting around his Anchor that he had still (for reasons!) would be a blasted annoyance and a half. So it wouldn’t be as easy to double-check his sister’s Looking around at places. And... 

“I reserve the right to look around at things myself, second,” Blue said to Miz next, rather evenly. Because she’d done it first, but he still didn’t like taking information from her at face-value. He tended to be a lot more thorough in looking and Looking at things, and also looked at them and parsed it all differently. (...And there were more than a few things that he wouldn’t want to speak of OUT LOUD between the two of them, here. Not until he had a better handle on how lazy and stupid the local AXOLOTL was and wasn’t around here, almost-certainly. Also, double- and triple-checking things _**WAS A THING**_.) 

Miz shrugged. Fair enough. She knew she got confused sometimes. "Well, what I want from him is for him to be not enslaved, not hurting, not hungry, not trapped." She felt they were pretty simple. "I was hoping the local Pines would take care of him. But they're not really happy to do so." 

Blue nodded once, as he made his way into town. (He was headed for the local jewelry store.) “The Stanley here seems to not have set up their mutual nonaggression agreement with him yet properly.” Unless… “How _long_ has he been staying here?” 

"It's been a few days since he 'came back'." Miz admitted. "So maybe I'm too hard on the Pines, they haven't figured or worked out anything concrete between them yet." 

Blue nodded at this. It had taken a few days for them to work out even the _beginning basics_ of that sort of thing, between him and his Stanley, himself. “I’ll look it up, see what happened here _specifically_ ; that should be easy,” Blue told her. _Something_ must have gone a bit differently here. But he wasn’t about to try casting any spells like _that_ just yet, especially not while walking at the same time as that sort of thing. For one thing, he still had several more things he needed to check out, structurally and otherwise, first. 

\--And other things to work on, even before that, of course, as he shoved the door open and walked his way into the jewelry store. (Second-things-second, and third-things-third, before that. --In-town business second, and out-of-town business third, before the rest of it. Blue knew how to plan, and Blue knew how to get things done _properly_ , in time for his dinner and tea -- oh yes. Always.) 

Miz followed him in. 

\--- 

The little bell in the shop jingled as the door swung open and then closed behind the customer. 

“Hello there, gorgeous! How can I help you?” an old woman in a robe cackled out. (Miz blinked. Handwitch?? Huh. She didn't know she ran a shop in town. Good on her. Support your local entrepreneur!) 

“Greetings!” Blue said to her, walking right up to the counter. (He’d checked his scanners, and yes, this was not an unreasonable thing to him.) “I have gold to sell for your jewelry-making skills and things, at discount prices! So clearly you will be interested in this. Yes?” He grinned at her winningly. 

She smiled back, revealing crooked, slightly yellow teeth, and leaned her chin on one hand. “Lovely. I see you’re quite the opposite of a gold digger, haha!” 

“Yes,” Blue told the Handwitch simply. “Are you interested in 10, 14, 18, 22, and-or 24 karat gold, and how much are you wanting to buy?” 

“ _Oh,_ I’m interested in a _lot_ of things… as for the gold, how much ya got?” 

“That,” Blue said, “Would be _telling_. --But _on_ me right now? Haha. --Quite a lot. Think ‘kilograms’, not ‘ounces’,” he said to her next. (Miz floated around the shop, checking the wares. Oh, some nice watches. Stan would love them.) 

The Handwich blinked. “ _Kilos?_ ” 

“Yes,” Blue said next. “I am willing to sell at a ten-percent discount to going-market-rate,” he told her next. 

The witch grinned. 10% discount? Hell to the fuck yes. She could even make some pretty trinkets for her sugar baby boyfriend with that much gold. Like, a golden mountain climbing pickaxe, the handle, not the pick. Oh his birthday was coming up too~ 

At the grin, and lack of haggling, Blue internally sighed and said, “10% below going-market-rate, as you are paying it. In case that was not clear.” Which was 5% lower than the wholesale stock market sale amount already; he knew this full well what that was from the paperwork in the back, from what the sensors on his suit were easily able to pick up from here. “How much do you want, and of what karats?” 

The two debated until reaching an agreement on both sides. Miz was checking out the hand shaped figurines. No, not figurines. They were real hands. Huh, she wondered who these used to belong to. 

Either way, Blue walked out of there $150k richer (after yanking a few full-sized gold bars of various karats and weights out of his backpack and just… cutting them into the right amounts for her with a vibraknife, right in front of her, Miz stared at all of the shiny~~), making sure to keep the local Handwitch happy all the while. And then he continued through town with Miz floating beside him, Miz still wondering how Handwitch kept the hands so nicely preserved. And also wondering if the pros of having her own shiny hoard would outweigh the cons of having to defend it? Then again, if she left it in the Death Star, there would be no issue. 

Next, Blue made a beeline for the government offices in Gravity Falls -- specifically, the local clerk’s office. 

There was a line of about two people in front of him. He waited. 

And around 45 minutes later, the first thing he said when he walked up to the counter was, “My sister is interested in having a ‘vacation spot’ here, and I only found out _today_ that a tent at the campgrounds for a few weeks is not going to work; she is interested in a **much** longer stay,” was what Blue began with (knowing that the locals -- really, humans in general -- always liked a good _story_ ). “So. I would like to buy some undeveloped land, something that I could build a house on for her, out in the woods, please.” 

He let the clerk talk at him for a short while, asking what he knew about the area (quite a lot, he was able to show them in a _very_ short period of time), which of course led to the clerk asking him (having been maneuvered into it easily) if he had anywhere specific in mind. 

And then Blue smiled at the government clerk winningly and said, “What plots do you have that are available near the end of Gopher Road?” 

It didn’t take ten minutes for the maps to come out, Blue to pick out a plot of what he thought to be the appropriate size (a good 5 acres of land, _more_ than enough for what he was thinking, on the other side of the parking lot and road away and across from the Mystery Shack), and for all of the paperwork and payments for everything to be handled and done, start-to-finish. 

He got it listed as 617 Gopher Road, promised to get a mailbox up on the spot within the next three days, and forked over several large wads of cash -- from the local ‘legal tender’ he’d recently gotten from the Handwitch -- for the deed (which he signed right on the spot, and put away in a ‘locked’ pocket again just as quickly). It left him with a good, solid $125K to spare for… other things. 

Like getting the plumbing and electrical lines extended much sooner-than-eventually to the log cabin he meant to put up there, zoned for residential-type living -- all of which he scheduled, set up, and paid for right then and there with the county clerk also, for another $25K. ( _Yes_ , he knew how stupid human-type governmental systems all worked. Even if he hadn’t known… stupid human internet and local books of ordinances scanned at a distance from the library. _Obviously._ ) 

Miz watched all this with wide eyes. Blue was getting them a house here? Ooooh! The thought was exciting. She wanted to decorate it! Wait, would she be allowed to? It was technically Blue's house since he’d bought and owned the property... 

With a smile and a wave to the friendly clerk -- who hadn’t even asked to see any ID at any point at all during the process -- Blue walked right out of there and headed for the nearest hardware store. 

"...you can really do anything if you got money, huh?" Miz glanced at the building as they left. 

“Don’t be silly, sis,” Blue said, after having pulled out his phone to hold it to his ear once again. “I didn’t have to _bribe_ anyone to do that. That was _both_ simple **and** easy.” 

"...am I allowed to decorate it?" Miz asked, still unsure how much she was allowed to do around and with him. 

“If you want,” Blue allowed. “I was planning on having…” He pulled down the phone from his ear, checked the local phone listings online, then dialed a number and held it up in front of his face, _not_ up to his ear. 

“Dan!” Blue said with a grin. “This _is_ Dan Corduroy, isn’t it? ‘Manly Dan’ Corduroy, local lumberjack, and house-builder extraordinaire?” He got an affirmative, with a lot of sawing noises in the background. “Do _I_ have a _job_ for _you!_ ” Blue exclaimed next. “A simple house job.” He paused. “ _Also_ ,” he added next, “What _are_ your going rates for on-the-job _teaching?_ ” Blue said next, eyebrows up, rather inquisitively. 

\--- 

Miz was a bit surprised that her brother didn’t contract to meet Dan right away, but for a few hours later instead. 

She started to understand why, as Blue next finished his trip at the hardware store, for a large wheelbarrow and some assorted human-style supplies, up to and including a rather solid-looking mailbox, a large metal gate, and a few other things. The trip to the grocery store was odd at first; he had to park his wheelbarrow outside, for a quick trip inside. Then again, it _was_ the ‘Falls -- nobody actually ended up messing with anything. (Though why Blue needed soap, shampoo, and conditioner… had he run out? But he’d also bought brushes, combs, and ribbons for himself, too...) 

"You know, my triangle dad was a carpenter." Miz commented. "I used to want to learn from him, but he never taught me." 

“Then I will add one-more to my list of potential from-lumberjack learners,” Blue noted next, as he started walking back up the roadway towards the official end of the road. 

"Yay~" Miz cheered. Like, she learned from just watching people do it, but it wasn't quite the same. 

Blue smiled, even as he took a hard right into the woodland brush, and started swiping away a good portion of it with his metallic robotic arms -- this time, spread out into thin triangles at each of the ends. It didn’t take him very long to clear a section of brush, drill down a pair of holes, and get the metal gate installed at a width that could admit a full-sized truck there, one-way -- with the mailbox installed shortly thereafter right next to one end. (It turned out to be a driveway that he was planning out, Miz realized after awhile, as -- once he finished that -- he began walking with his wheelbarrow a bit more slowly, and using his robotic arms to continue to clear brush along a curving, then rather straight path. 

Miz materialized on the physical plane to help out with what she could. Like checking soil density and shooing away the animals. Didn't want them getting hurt during construction. She even very carefully knelt down to have a negotiation with the local ant colony about moving a few yards to the west, so they wouldn't get dug up when the piping and water lines were made. ("I know you like your picking grounds here but this is for your own-- ok fine, I will leave a chicken out for you. Turkey? Now you're just being greedy!") 

Blue let his sister do what she wanted, until they were where he wanted them to be, and he came to a stop in the middle of… a location. Miz could _sort_ of see the Shack from here, through the trees, even without using her Eye? 

It took him a bit to unshoulder his large knapsack, to open up the main pouch area and pull out -- oh, the backup tent! 

And, once Blue had sat down (in midair, in a basket of his prosthetic robotic arms, all four braced down against the ground for him, while he reclined back in place comfortably) for a bit (to check out a few things, with one of his ‘seeing spells’, quickly), Blue got back up again, got the tent set up (and the security system ‘armed’) for the moment, pushed the wheelbarrow inside, and-- 

...Blue came back out again to an inquisitive Miz with two of the shiny new aluminum metal buckets he’d bought at the local hardware store, filled with the aforementioned soap, shampoo, conditioner, brushes, combs, ribbons-- and a few other things, like scissors and towels and a stack of colored paper for some reason. 

A reason that started to make sense when Blue said, “Do you want to help me run a ‘quick two-person con’-business on the local unicorns for some of their hair?” He smiled at her, as he pulled his glasses off and stowed them back in a pocket, letting the true look of his eyes show again. “I usually do _’travelling beautician salon’_ , when it is both me and-also Lee.” 

And Miz cackled. "I've always wanted to groom a unicorn!" 

Blue grinned. 

\--- 

He was back in the basement. Ford hadn’t removed the bed Miz had created. The blanket still lay sprawled on the floor where he’d thrown it off in surprise. 

There were two of them now. And maybe more, soon. He needed some way to protect himself. 

Bill wondered what Ax had done with his powers. Energy like that couldn’t be destroyed, only transferred… either they kept them, or they passed them on. Maybe even to one of his henchmaniacs. 

He hoped so. 

And if it had been one of his henchmaniacs, they would have taken over the gang by now. Probably Pyronica, but maybe Kryptos. Not that Kryptos would last very long in any kind of position of power. 

Pyra, however, was queen material. Powerful, devious, and a diva. She had the attitude. That was why she had been his second-in-command. She worked well, and it was enough to keep her from trying to dethrone him (not that she could have). 

She would keep the others in line. Keep them fed and safe for as long as she could. Then again, the Nightmare Realm was due to close in on itself sometime soon-- although time there worked very differently than it did here, much less linearly. 

Still, Bill would have been able to do better. He should have been able to do better. But he’d fucked it up. 

And now he was here. Like this. Kept by _them._

They were supposed to be _dead_ and this world was supposed to be _his_ and _safe_ and _home._

He wondered if he could find a way to contact them. If they would take him back, like this. Not that this fleshbag body would last very long in the Nightmare Realm. 

He probably remembered the sigils. At least Pyra’s-- she was easily summonable. The others weren’t exactly demons so much as lost beings swept up in the chaos. 

And the Nightmare Realm was where a lot of accidents and experiments and the dregs of some societies wound up. But once you were there you couldn’t really leave. All you could do was scrape out a life for yourself and kill. 

Kill to be safe, and kill to eat. 

Originally, Bill had travelled alone. He never did need anyone else. But he found the others slowly, tolerated them, and decided to bring them along. Why the hell not? 

They… reminded him of himself. 

So he’d decided, the next time he managed to get into a third dimension, to wipe out another set of Pines, he wouldn’t let the wreckage seep back into the Nightmare Realm. He would let them stay there. A safe place. Of course, that was before the imminent collapse of the Realm itself became a concern. 

When he’d escaped the Gleefuls, he’d been shunted into that Realm, but his powers had come flooding back to him. But the maniacs? They were dead meat, considering the number of other variously skilled hunters. If they were lucky they’d be killed cleanly, or starve. If they were unlucky... 

Maybe they were all dead by now. Who knew? 

Of course, he could try to talk to the AXOLOTL, too, but they wouldn’t listen to him. The whole point of this was to punish him-- and for what? 

The Pines needed to be stopped and purged before they picked apart any more creatures. They had a habit of summoning them for fun, or running tests on things they found in the woods, disrupting the natural order of things in the name of science. 

Not to mention what they had done to _him_. 

Even as he pushed the memories away, he could feel a dull, phantom pain in his left eye-- or the place that it had been, anyway. He pushed his finger into it, experimentally, and the pain sharpened. 

It was something to focus on other than the creeping cold of the room. Almost pleasant. He dug his knuckles into his socket and tried to think of a plan. 

Obviously, he couldn’t use the one he’d _just_ made up, trying to garner their trust or ambivalence, and then bolting. 

For all intents and purposes, he was stuck in the basement. Possibly for the rest of his life, until Sixer decided to run some more tests-- except that Sixer was probably going to be occupied by the new Bills. One of which seemed to be a small, over-enthusiastic girl with magic, and the other having the kind of tech that Sixer used to drool over. 

They would definitely keep him worried and occupied. The only _possibly_ helpful part of this was that he was no longer going to be under all that attention. 

On the other hand, Sixer might also forget to feed him. 

Hrrrgh. 

There had to be a way out of here. Honestly, he didn’t have the energy to worry about his rightful vengeance right now. He just wanted to get out of this basement and away from Sixer’s prying hands and eyes, and the overly-curious twins, and the Bills that had broken in to mess with his dimension. 

Still, making a Deal of any kind, even if it helped him… could and would have terrible repercussions. He’d never played fair, so obviously neither would they. 


End file.
